The Spock Wars::
by PrimeEmily135
Summary: It's April Fools day at the Autobot base. What could possibly go wrong?
1. To boldly go where no man has gone befor

**Hey everybody! So, I've had this idea going around in my head since Christmas, and since April fools day is in a few days, I thought that I should actually write it. :) hope you enjoy it!**

**I do not own Transformers Prime... And I don't own Star Trek. :)**

* * *

"And that's why we celebrate Christmas." Raf concluded, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Optimus nodded, his lips forming a small smile to the young boy. "That is very interesting Rafael. It is always nice to learn something new about a culture that is different from your own. Thank you for sharing that." He felt a small tugging in his spark, remembering his time as a Librarian before the war. It was a much simpler time, and he had enjoyed the countless files of knowledge more than anything.

His face fell slightly from the memory, and the young human looked up at him in confusion. "Is something wrong, Optimus?" he asked, standing up from his place by the large computer screen in front of the Prime.

The mech sighed tiredly, looking back down at the boy. "No Rafael, nothing is wrong." he continued with his work, pondering over some of the human traditions and background of Christmas. The traditions were strange, but the story behind it was very intriguing. He soon found himself thinking over what Raf had said more than what he was working on.

Deciding on a break, Optimus held out his hand to Raf so he could let the boy back down on the ground. "Are there any other holidays that your people celebrate?" he asked. Normally he wasn't so inquisitive, but having heard a little of human culture his inner librarian yearned to know more.

Raf nodded, picking up his backpack from the floor. He was the only child at the base that day, and he seemed a little more relaxed with only the Prime around. "Yeah. There's Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentines' day... And a lot more, but those are the only ones that really come to mind..." he paused, "There's also the fourth of July. Can't forget that. That one is important to a lot of people in America..." the boy's eyes brightened considerably and he laughed. "And April Fools day!"

Optimus narrowed his optics slightly. "April's what?"

"April fools day. It's a day where everybody pranks everyone and it's very fun. Unless your pranked by Vince... Then you end up tied upside down from the locker room ceiling in nothing but your underpants..." he trailed off, looking down at the floor.

Optimus scooped the boy off of the floor suddenly, making him yelp in surprise. Holding him up to optic level he gave the boy an encouraging smile. "Raf, could you and your friends do something for me?" he asked.

The boy's eyes widened a little, in shock that Optimus would ever ask him to do anything. "Sure!"

"I'd like you to teach the others of your human traditions. It will be nice to have something break up routine, and it would be good for the others to learn a little of your culture. "

* * *

Jack heard the Autobots have a collected groan of annoyance. He didn't understand why they were so upset, it was just learning about a few holidays. How bad could that honestly be?

"Here we go again... Optimus turned back to his librarian form because someone decided talk up a storm over something." Ratchet shook his helm and turned away from the humans. "You can count me out. I'm not going to sit around learning a bunch of things that could be replaced by learning something useful."

Raf looked a little put down and Jack spoke up again. "Oh come on Ratch, it'll be...fun." his voice went deadpan when he remembered just who he was trying to convince. He brightened, remembering something. "Raf, didn't you say Optimus said it was mandatory?" The boy looked up at him in confusion but he cut him off before he could answer. "Yeah, he did say that didn't he Miko?"

The Japanese girl caught on a lot quicker than Raf did, and she nodded quickly. "Yeah! You have to do it Ratchet! Optimus said it was...what Jack said." she concluded, smirking up at the older bot. By this time Raf finally jumped in with the scheme.

"Yah, I believe Optimus did say that."

Jack raised an eyebrow at the older bot, waiting for him to react. After another moment of defiance, the medic finally vented irritably and turned to join the group. "Fine." he conceded. "Make it quick, so I can go give Optimus a piece of my processor..." he growled, and then all attention was on the three of them..

"Well...uh.." Jack ran a hand through his hair uncertainly, not sure where to start. "Miko?" she shrugged shaking her head. "Raf, you want to start?" the younger boy nodded with a small smile and sat down on the floor with his computer.

"I thought maybe we could start with something fun and unusual." he said, and Jack instantly felt silly for thinking that they wouldn't have anything to say. Rad was always prepared for stuff like this. "April Fools day." he announced, turning the screen so the others could see.

* * *

Ratchet listened quietly to the youngest human as he rattled off the history of the holiday, working slowly to put his welder back together. Apparently, the celebration was brought about by a change in the Earth calendar. Some people refused to accept the change and were labeled as fools. So every April first, the date of the original "New Year's Day", people would play pranks and practical jokes on them. It was a..well, a foolish holiday.

Ratchet vented slowly as Bumblebee asked a question he didn't quite catch. Secretly, he did enjoy learning new things about their human friends, but something as trivial as this was just trying his patience.

"Yeah Bee! April first is only a week away. Maybe we can play a prank on someone."

Ratchet scoffed at the idea. Who were they going to mess with that wouldn't be suspecting? Everyone here had just listened to everything about the holiday and would be expecting some sort of joke to be played.

"How about Optimus?"

Everyone went silent at Miko's suggestion. Smokescreen and himself being the most shocked. Optimus? Sure, it would be a way to get back at him but...would that be taking things a little too far?

"You know..." Jack spoke up cautiously. "That might actually work... And think I have an idea." all optics and eyes turned to him as he smirked suddenly. "Have any of you seen 'Star Trek'?"

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**Poor Optimus. Muahahahaaaa! ;)**

**Leave a Review please! I will try to update soon. :)**


	2. Live long and Prosper

**Here you go, sorry for the wait! I will be trying to update this more now. :)**

* * *

Optimus felt re-energized and ready for the day when he awoke. He simply had a happy feeling in his body. He even allowed himself a small smile as he walked through the base to the control room. Spending the day yesterday talking with Raf had really been a break that he had needed. Being a librarian at spark, he deeply enjoyed learning new things. And the human traditions of Christmas and some other holidays was something that intrigued him. He actually spent the rest of the day researching the human internet for new information about them. He found a pretty simplistic yet mischievous activity to do with the plant "Mistletoe" that made him think of Arcee for a few moments before he moved on to another subject.

It seemed that a lot of holidays centered around family and loved ones. And most of them had a lot of commercialism. But he had been able to look past a lot of that to find the truer meanings behind them, and he was pleased with much that he had found… although the celebrations of All Hallows Eave and April Fool's Day seemed to be a little pointless, and in fact very harmful…

Everything was still quiet and dark in the base but he knew Ratchet would already be in his medical bay by the time he got to the main hub. He was always the first one up, sometimes he wondered if his friend ever slept. "Good morning Ratchet." he said to the doctor, who merely grunted in response. "Have you recalibrated the ground bridge yet?" He tried to make some conversation. "I remember you saying that it is having issues." he continued to the computer as he spoke, pulling up some files to look over that day.

"No, I haven't gotten to that yet. I was a little busy getting a lecture about human traditions." the medic spat, making Optimus frown. "I'll get to work on it after I am done here." he finished, putting some intricately shaped metal scraps up on the shelf with his welder. "Oh, and before I forget: I need to run some diagnostics on your neural net today. You're past your scheduled scan and I figure today is as good a day as any." the medic gave him a stern look, pointing at him accusingly. "So no running off."

Optimus mentally cringed, his more cheerful mood erased. He hated getting scanned, he always had. "Very well." he said quietly, starting his work. He scanned through the files, not really interested in any of them and barely taking anything in. He realized that his mind wasn't really on work. He yearned to read more and learn more about the humans. He had been living amongst them for over five earth years, but he had never thought to study them. And now the opportunity was too much temptation to pass up. Everything in his body told him he should be working, but he decided that the sooner he got this out of his system the sooner he would be able to focus again.

Pulling up the internet, he gave a discreet glance at Ratchet before starting up his research where he had left off the night before. He was in the middle of reading about Marine Biology. It was a fascinating subject and he was soon consumed by it, lost to the world around him…

"Optimus…It's time…" Ratchet's voice behind him didn't even faze him as he continued to look at the different pictures of deep sea diving equipment. It was nice that there was visual aid to help understand what he was reading about. It gave him a better understanding of- "_Optimus… Now_."

He vented quietly and shut down the search bar. "Alright…" He gave up his fight of ignoring him and retired to the medical bay berth. Lying down upon it he tried to relax his processor. He _really_ hated scanning, mostly because you had to be put into stasis to do it. It was unnatural and uncomfortable. But as a Prime, he hid his annoyance and dread and he off-lined his optics. "Do your worst, Ratchet." He challenged, but in no way did he expect to be taken seriously…

* * *

Snickers filled the air around him as he started to come out of stasis. He groaned quietly, unable to focus his optics. Everything was dark and blurry… The laughter came again and he tried harder to regain full consciousness. He didn't like the sound of it. It sounded like…mockery.

"It's perfect!" Miko shouted, her familiar voice making his processor throb.

Optimus groaned again as he sat up slowly. He shook his helm, trying to clear his vision of the murky fog and soon he could see everything and everyone around him. The human children were standing on the walkway above him, staring down at him with amusement. Jack and Miko were laughing heartily, but Raf seemed almost nervous to join in. As he further surveyed the room he found that all Autobots were present. Bumblebee and Bulkhead joined in with the snickers and Ratchet looked as smug as ever, and very proud of himself. Arcee stood a little farther away, a servo covering her smile as if she felt ashamed to be amused. The last, Smokescreen, seemed horrified.

Optimus looked at each of them in turn, not understanding what was so funny.

"Ratchet, his eyebrows are perfect!" Jack practically doubled over, gasping for breath as he pointed. Optimus reached up slowly, feeling along his brow until he felt the change in his features. His once plain optic ridges were extended and pointed up over his helm. And he couldn't move them. One was permanently stuck in an inquisitive position, and his face seemed frozen as well. He couldn't scowl in annoyance. He couldn't look at Ratchet in bewilderment. His facial expression was stuck.

He looked down at himself and his spark started to race in horror. His paint job had been changed. His once bright red chest and arms had been given a coat of plain blue paint, and his legs were repainted dark shades of grey. Upon further inspection he found that his Autobot insignias had been changed into what looked like an upside down curved V. He moved his servos from his optic ridges to his audios and found that they had been reshaped. They were smaller, rounder, and had pointed tips.

"Ratchet…What have you done to me?" He said quietly, feeling absolutely humiliated. They were making a joke out of him.

Ratchet scoffed, "Live long and prosper, Optimus… That's payback for making me sit through a lecture about April Fool's day." He pointed to Jack. "You can blame him for the idea though."

Optimus looked around the room once more, his spark sinking. It was a joke, he knew it was supposed to be funny but he didn't see the humor in it. He didn't know how to feel about it. He was angry, but somehow he knew that he had brought this upon himself and that the action was only made in jest. But he just couldn't believe that they would make a joke out of him. It hurt… Raf was the only one who seemed to see his confliction, and the boy gave him a look of sympathy.

"If you have all had your fill of mockery-" he arose slowly and ducked his helm to avoid looking at any of them. "-I believe I will be retiring early today…"

"Ah, come on Optimus! It was just a joke!" Miko shouted after him, but he didn't stop. He continued to his berthroom and locked the door behind him. He heard Arcee quickly silence anymore objections from the human girl, but other than that no one else said a word.

In his room, he let himself slump against the wall as he looked at his appearance in the reflection of his darkened computer monitor. He looked like an idiot. Smart and alienated, kind of intimidating, but still idiotic. _Live long and prosper…_ He had heard that saying before…

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**Leave a Review for poor Spock...-I mean!- Optimus Prime ;p**


	3. Captain James T Jerk

**Sorry it's been a while, but here's the next chapter! Enjoy :)**

**I do not own the quotes used in this chapter!**

* * *

Bumblebee would admit that he felt a little bad about what they had done to Optimus. The mech was like a father to him and he had let him be completely humiliated. Although he obviously had tried to hide it, everyone saw the feelings of betrayal in his optics as he left. He said that he was retiring for the day, but it was only just past noon Earth time, and a day and a half later he still hadn't come back out. The others had seemed to notice this odd behavior too, and even Rachet seemed a little unsettled.

Bee whirred nervously as he cast a glance down the hall to the berthrooms. Optimus' door was sealed firmly shut. And it was undoubtedly locked.

"You think he's okay?"

He looked down at Raf in surprise at his concern, but then understood it. Raf was often bullied because of how smart he was. The boy probably felt sympathy for Optimus, because they had teased him for the burden he carried as a Prime. [He'll be okay…I hope…]

"Should someone, you know, go check on the big guy?" Jack piped up.

[Maybe…] He glanced around at the other bots who all seemed preoccupied, and then again back down the hall. [I'll be right back.]

Making his way cautiously down the vacant hallway, he stopped in front of Optimus Prime's door. It was shut. He reached out to try the handle but it was also locked up tight. Bee whirred in thought, then reached a servo up to knock softly. At first all he heard in response was an echo, then something stirred inside and the door opened.

"Bumblebee.." Optimus smiled down at him kindly and held the door farther open. "Please, come in." Bee noticed his strange behavior right away (he never let anyone but Ratchet or Arcee enter his quarters), but he ventured in anyways, not wanting to be rude.

[Optimus, are you.. okay?] he asked, glancing nervously between the Prime and the door as he closed it. [I mean- about all that happened with the…] he motioned at his audios, they were still pointed up in the weird fashion of the alien Spock. In fact, the washable paint that Ratchet had used to do up the rest of Optimus' frame hadn't even been attempted to be taken off yet.

"Yes, I am fine." He said, a little bit _too_ cheerfully for a mech that had just been humiliated into hiding. "I realize that what was done to me was all in jest and, after some research, I have come to realize that in a way there are similarities between myself and this Vulcan character of science fiction origin." He motioned to his personal computer consol, and Bumblebee took in the sight of many search pages pulled up on the human internet about the subject of Star Trek. Obviously he had been doing much more research than he was letting on. "I have also been reading into the many human traditions of pranks or jokes. And after some digging I have found that when one is pranked it is usually customary for that person to retaliate..something called a prank war, I believe."

Bumblebee took a small step back. He wasn't sure why, but the slight narrowing of the Prime's optics warned him that something was up. Something wasn't right…

Optimus inspected him, his gaze becoming thoughtful. "Have you refueled today Bumblebee? You do not look to be at full capacity." He pointed out, not waiting for his reply before retrieving two cubes of energon from his personal shelf. He gave one to Bumblebee and sat down at his desk, motioning for Bee to do the same. He eased into the chair opposite his leader cautiously, looking at the energon suspiciously. It wasn't like Optimus to be so… out of character. He couldn't explain it but there was just something wrong with the way he was acting.

Optimus took a sip from his energon cube, leaning back in his chair more comfortably. Bumblebee watched, curiously confused. He was glad that Optimus wasn't taking their little joke. He didn't ever seem like the kind of mech to take things like that lightly, but he also never held a grudge. [Optimus, are you mad at us?] he sipped his own cube slowly, hoping that whatever it was that was affecting Prime would-

Bumblebee stilled, feeling his sparkrate slow dangerously. He whirred in confusion, staring at Optimus who merely sipped his energon and watched. "No.. I am not mad Bumblebee." His optics narrowed further and he looked at him sternly. "Just _very_ upset."

At that he felt the world go cold and black.

* * *

When he awoke again he was alone in Optimus' quarters. Jumping to his feet, he looked around in confusion. _What happened?_ He looked down at himself quickly, relieved that he didn't look any different. _Why would Optimus knock me out if he didn't plan on doing anything?_ He wondered, exiting the room quietly in hopes not to draw attention to himself. Checking his internal clock he found that he was late to go scouting with Arcee, and he double-timed it to the main hub.

Upon entering the room he saw Optimus working at his station, talking to no one and not acknowledging any of them. He didn't even look in his direction.

"Bumblebee! There you are." Arcee came up behind him, shaking her helm. "We have to go now. What took you so long?" she picked up her energon locater and he gave her a helpless shrug and a whirr.. but it came out as _anything_ but a whirr.

**"I'm a soldier, not a diplomat. I can only tell the truth." **A recording of a strange voice spoke through his vocalizer, making him jump in surprise. Arcee, and everyone else for that matter, looked at him in shock. _How did I do that?_ He hadn't meant to. It just literally.._came out_!

"Bee?" Bulkhead raised an optic at him.

He beeped in equal confusion looking at Arcee, but once again his words were not his own. **"Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed…but a woman is always a woman.- Beauty survives."** His optics widened and he covered his mouth piece as he cheeks heated. He waved frantically, trying to convey that he hadn't meant to say that. **"There are certain things men must do to remain men."** At that Arcee's jaw dropped. _No, no-no-no-no-no!_ He panicked, she looked like she was going to get mad. _That isn't me! I would never say something like that!_ He tried to say and was horrified that it was again changed.

**"I don't have time for this.-I've already got a female to worry about. Her name is-"** He finally just stopped talking. Servos clamped firmly over his vocalizer, he stared at the others in pure helplessness.

"Is something wrong Bumblebee?"

All optics turned to their leader where he stood with his back to them. His voice was the same as it always was, but with a hint of sternness. "I suppose the saying is true. Payback's a glitch." He muttered, going still as the others realized what had been done. Bumblebee shrunk back from the group, his spark sinking. Optimus had pranked him. "Don't worry Bee, **A little suffering is good for the soul.** I believe that is what Captain Kirk would say…"

Ratchet chuckled from in the medical bay, unable to hide his smirk.

Optimus turned to face them all, his gaze neutral but with an underlining mischievous gleam. "Oh, just you wait Ratchet. _You're next_."

Bumblebee hid his face in his servos with a whimper. What had they done? **"Khaaaaaaannnnn!"**

* * *

**I think they may have pushed Optimus a little too far, don't you think? **

**Leave a Review for poor glitching Bumblebee ;)**


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